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		Busy, Busy, Busy Part 1 Reprinted from November 2005 Issue -by PAUL CASEY Acouple of weeks ago, I realized that when I asked the question, “How are you doing?” of about 50 people in the span of a week, “Busy” was the number one response. As I reflected on that, I realized, Busy, is not a state of being like Fine, Fabulous, Tired, or Grieving. But we, especially we in America, have made it into one. While I was reflecting on that, I heard the author of the book Margin (Dr. Richard Swenson) and recently began reading the books Making Room for Life and Time Trap. Friends tell me of their heavy-duty youth sports schedules and my own family makes the comments of my schedule, “Are you leaving again?” So, I thought I’d write this month on busyness or overscheduling: the “Calendar Pac-man”. Please let me note that I’m on the journey along with you—far from having this concept dealt with in my life—I mean, I’m so time-conscious that I don’t like how the new handsoap dispenser takes too long to produce a teardrop of soap—although I finally realized that it’s just enough time for the water to get warm! But I know we are not a good advertisement to our kids for healthy family life with our harried and hurried lives. Busyness And Its Consequences When I was in education, we had nice phrases to use with parents when we tactfully talked about their children, calling a student with out of control behavior, “busy”. You might like to call yourself diligent, industrious or your vocabulary word of the day, sedulous (painstaking application to an enterprise). But using Webster’s definitions, two of them can parallel our lives: we can be lacking joy of an abundant life and we can be otherwise occupied and cluttered with so many small, fussy details in our schedules that several things can happen: A) Relationships never cement. There’s a flurry of activity, but missing out on life’s main things. B) The best gets crowded out. It’s been said that “Good is the enemy of best.” It’s more the principle of missing out on the best by crowding the schedule too full. You can even be so busy that your brain focuses on details while you are supposed to be in relationships/relaxing. If you want to know the truth, ask your spouse or best friend—the concept of being present when you are with people is so important for connecting with them. Ever been “here in body, but not in spirit”? Personally, it takes a wake-up call to alert me that I’ve fumbled the football, and lately it was my wife saying, “We don’t have much fun together any more.” Ouch! The potential best relationship on this earth is not at its enriched fullness because of the many good things we’re doing. C) Physical and emotional health deteriorates due to stress. More and more, doctors are tracing physical illnesses directly to bad stress. In fact, 43% of all adults suffer adverse health effects due to stress. Seventy-five to ninety percent of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related complaints/disorders, and stress has been linked to all the leading causes of death. Headaches, stomachaches, sleeplessness, apathy, withdrawal, depression, etc, etc are often alarm bells that the schedule must slow down. D) Overload burns you out. Overload, according to Richard Swenson, is a state of chronic overage that leads to dysfunction in at least one important area where there is a required a decent minimum. It makes us too busy to serve our community—we are too exhausted for relationships. Irritability poisons our attitude. Our faith gets the busy signal. Joy is an early casualty. Todd Duncan said, “Ninety percent of people in the work force believe they work too fast and too hard, and the end result is a job that is not well-executed.” Let’s probe deeper with an acrostic, and better understand our sadistic yearnings. The Wrong Reasons For Busyness We need to throw off what hinders success in our lives: some of these are things like addictions and others are simply wrong messages we are telling ourselves that hinder our fruitfulness in what really matters. There are often obviously destructive things to cut out (drinking alcohol or taking meth to drown your stress each night), but there are also subtly destructive things to cut out. Which busyness stumbling block holds you back? A) Keeping up with the Joneses (comparing). This pressure sounds like, “If I don’t give my child every experience possible, she’ll be behind—or they’ll think I’m not a good parent—or my kids will hate me and put me in a crummy nursing home someday.” Or, “If I don’t earn more money to get the yard or toys or gadgets of my neighbor or church friends, life won’t be as fun.” Or, “If I don’t occupy myself with as many activities, it’ll look like it’s all about me.” B) Not having to deal with issues (compensating). These could be issues with self or doing business with others. “If I just keep busy or surround myself with pleasure-filled activity, I can run away from reconciling that relationship or talking it out with my spouse or having to spend time alone with myself or fulfilling my responsibility to pass on values to my kids.” C) Pride (vanity). It’s culturally acceptable and admired if you can prove your busyness. List your repertoire of activities and listen for the “Wow!” When a guy at my church said that at that moment he felt pretty balanced, it was like we all wanted to say, “Shut Up!” But he was the good example. When people answer, “Busy,” it’s like we say, “That’s cool—you pass the test.” It’s like we are constantly passing out our life resume for the job of living on this earth. D) Performance orientation (getting significance by doing). “If I get all this done, then I’ll be viewed as important/significant.” Or, “It’s just how I am wired!” The people who have trouble here are the task-oriented among us! These folks, by personality, love tasks, details, planning, organization, list-making and productivity. How many are out there with those tendencies like me? Group hug! Hey, why can’t the others figure out why we’re so cool? Actually, it’s probably because we’re driving everyone nuts! Be who you are, but don’t be extreme to the point of loving calculators and PDA’s over people. Disconnect from your Blackberry (or “Crack”berry) and be present with people. E) Saying Yes to everything (pleasing). “If I were to say ‘No’ to that opportunity, I’d hurt their feelings, or who would do it, or it wouldn’t be done well, or they may not value me.” Maybe you’re a merciful or extremely helpful person, but that doesn’t mean every decision to help at the moment is best. It’s like when taking my dog to puppy preschool, and my dog having to obey the difficult command of “Stay”, especially when they started throwing chew toys around! Stay tuned next month for some of the remedies for this overload syndrome—just in time for the Holiday season. Paul D. Casey, Family Ministry Director, Bethel Church, Richland, WA, 628-0150.